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It's often where us girls begin to learn about things beyond the birds and the bees but as we grow older we begin to recognize just how ridiculous sex tips in magazines can be. Have these women really had sex themselves? Now approaching 4 decades I can see the humor in these articles and have collated my favorite tips which I only encourage you to try if you wish to kill the mood or risk damaging a particularly sensitive area of your sexy bits.

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Hold his penis in one hand and lightly slap it with the other... you can tap it back and forth like you're volleying a tennis ball and lightly pinch the skin on his shaft and testicles. Many women make the mistake of being too gentle.

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Dab some peppermint oil on your neck and between your breasts. Studies found that the smell of mint has a revitalizing effect. Bonus: your boobs will smell extra fresh.

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As you're eating dinner together, say something X-rated like, 'See how I'm chewing this piece of meat? That's how I'm going to devour you.

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Mix one tablespoon of saliva (the kind deep in your throat works best - its viscosity makes it a good substitute for lube) with one tablespoon of water to stretch the spit.

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As you're going down on him, shake your head from side to side, letting your tongue follow the same pattern on the extra sensitive underside of his penis.

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Firmly hold the bottom of his shaft in one hand and slowly push it towards the base. (Imagine you're pushing his penis into his body).

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Tickle his feet with your nipples: climb on top of him in reverse cowgirl position, then bend over until your nipples reach the tops of his feet. ...Yowzah.

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When he's least expecting it, tell your man you need some change. Then stick your hand in his pocket and touch his penis through the fabric, pretending that you're really digging around for that coinage you need. When he's good and hard, whisper something in his ear like, "Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

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Give him a beer facial - the combination of the egg white and the yeast in the hops hydrates and improves skin elasticity... but you can just tell him that your lips can't resist his delicious, beer-flavored face.