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Like Stuart says in the 1994 movie hit Threesome, “Pizza is like sex. When it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.” There is a fascinating association between sex and food, perhaps because they are both sensual, can involve a lot of variety and are necessary for the continuation of the human race. Many couples incorporate food into their sex life, using various fruits and veggies as sex toys, aphrodisiacs, or as a fun foreplay addition. There are also stories of sex and food gone wrong, men arriving at the hospital with strange phallic vegetables stuck up their bum, women getting yeast infections from putting too much whipped cream their pussy, but if done right, sex and food can be sensual and fun. Got Christmas leftovers? This article will give you some ideas of how to have sexy, slimy fun with food.

Neurologically, the anticipation and response of eating and getting fucked is remarkably similar. Also, the emotional response in our bodies from food and sex, controlled by the limbic system, are similar. Specifically, both the food and sex that we enjoy lead to a release of dopamine, which is a hormone that leads to a positive neurological response. As a result, many of those that have sex and food addiction have similar types of disorders, where they are both looking for that dopamine kick more than is healthy.

Let’s get to the juicy stuff, how can sex and food cum together?

Nyotaimori is the art of eating sushi off a naked body. Pick out your favorite rolls and enjoy putting them on your partner’s body and eating it off. It could be fun to do a little photo shoot, and if your partner is clean, you can even dip the soy sauce from their belly button!

An obvious but true one, Chocolate. Chocolate is known to be an aphrodisiac, so much so that during the 1600’s a number of Spanish monks and nuns were banned from eating it, lest it take control over their bodies and muck up that whole abstinence thing. Chocolate has a chemical in it, which causes the release of dopamine. As mentioned, this neurotransmitter is a powerful reward and can lead to heightened arousal.

Cucumber (and/or Banana) Most dildos cost at least $30 but you can sometimes pick up a Cucumber or Banana for less than a dollar. When asking my friends about their first masturbation toys, MANY of them began with a type of phallic shaped food. If done safely, a cucumber or banana can actually make a great sex toy, albeit not long lasting. I would suggest putting a condom on it to ensure it is clean before shoving it up there.

Whipped cream! Why? Because it’s yummy! Where? Any erogenous zones. It could be really fun foreplay to spray up your nipples and get your partner to lick it off. Or your thighs. Perhaps even your private parts? Although, if you get the whipped cream inside a woman’s labia, there is a chance of a yeast infection. However, there are lots of fun ways to use the whipped cream to tease your partner. The sensation of being licked feels incredible, and who doesn’t love lots and lots of sugar!

Slurp on some Oysters. Mmm. Oysters are very high in zinc which is involved in stabilizing stamina and testosterone in men. As a result, eating oysters before a hookup can help delay orgasm, so perhaps feeding your man a bunch of oysters before the act can help him last long enough for you to get there too.

Gra pefruit blow job. Hear me out. Apparently giving a blow job with a hollowed out gra pefruit feels fantastic, because the gra pefruit feels like a vagina, so it feels like you are having sex and receiving a blowjob at the same time. To do this you cut off the top and bottom of a gra pefruit and cut a hole in it. It is up to you how thick or thin to make the hole. Then either you can put the gra pefruit on your penis, or someone can put it on your penis and twist it up and down as they suck you. Intrigued? Me too.

Pineapple makes cum taste better. I looked deeply into the inter-webs to find out if there was a study that proved this fact, and unfortunately no studies have yet been done. However, I did a blind study with ex-partner once, where he ate a lot of pineapple or none before I blew him and I was able to tell by the taste of his cum if he had pineapple or not. The reason for this is that sperm is acidic. Pineapple is sweet and acidic, therefore eating a lot of it can make cum taste less bitter and more sweet.

This list of items can be a good starter for combining sexy time and food. There are plenty of seductive fun ways to incorporate the two without pulling a George Costanza and trying to subtly eat a pastrami sandwich while making love to a woman and watching TV at the same time. Give some items on the list a try, and see how it feels. If you are really into it, perhaps you could take it to the next level and explore the surprisingly popular kink of sploshing which involves deriving sexual pleasure from sitting on food (or watching people sit on food).

Which types of food have you experimented with? Have I missed any good ones?